Many people are not sufficiently connected to themselves and therefore to their own needs.
When they are solicited in this way, they do not know how to say no and throw themselves into all kinds of activities or relationships that they do not particularly need.
It is common for these people to become the object of manipulation, harassment, betrayal, scams, etc.
Despite that little voice telling them to listen to themselves, various fears tip the balance towards a “Yes” to the other person, or a “No” that is not perceived as a “real” no!
The person who dares to say no easily is free from internal conflicts that prevent them from being fully authentic, both towards themselves and towards others.
The “no” is expressed easily and is generally well understood by the person who receives it.
Conflicts mainly sit around 3 levels of awareness and feed various fears:
- fear that the other person will feel hurt, fear of losing the relationship, etc.
- fear of being selfish, fear of doing harm to the other, etc.
- fear of feeling guilty, fear of rejection by the group, etc.
“True no”: The “no” is expressed with integrity without the person needing to weigh the pros and cons.
The number of nos gradually decreases, because the person who knows how to say no naturally has fewer toxic relationships around them.
“False no”: The “no” sounds wrong.
It is expressed with a lack of integrity, because there is dissonance between the value conflicts perceived by the interlocutor and the expression of the “no”.
The number of “nos” remains high because the person stays in a relational environment that mirrors the fears that maintain the value conflicts.
It is common for some “toxic” relationships of the person who did not know how to say “no” to disappear, or for their immediate circle to be surprised at first and then gradually adjust their behaviour in turn.
If you know how to say no naturally, your toxic relationships will disappear.
Behavioural consequences:
- Lack of self-respect
- Committing to activities you do not enjoy
- Lack of motivation to keep commitments
- Feeling overwhelmed
- Being overloaded with work
- Feeling that things are happening to you
- Feeling a lack of time (loss of control over time)
- Permanent sense of guilt
Knowing how to say NO means respecting yourself and taking back your power… being in charge.
If you wish to work on your emotions, your nutrition or other blockages, feel free to contact me. Together we can look for a new balance and greater inner freedom. This support does not replace medical care.